When I was four they asked me to find the answers to the questions they had been intrigued by. Small as I was, they were pretty confident that if there was a person on Avary who could do it, it was me. I don't exactly remember how or why I bought what they sold me but I am pretty sure that was not something that I was led into for my own good.. Little did I understand then that I was but playing my part as a pawn in their larger scheme of affairs, that their real motive behind bringing me upfront was of destruction and malice, and of saving themselves from the possible blowback of their vile plot. I complied with their plan, nevertheless, I was not completely oblivious of the fact that I was not one of them and that something didn’t fit somewhere into the picture. Peace of mind is not something elusive to an infant but I was an exception to the rule. I sought peace with the acuity of a starved man seeking a morsel of sustenance. As time flew by, the dark clouds of obscurity started to dissolve and rays of knowledge started permeating my mind making some sense at all. Little by little, the truth manifested itself, like a troubadour singing and before the windows of my senses and I started getting the answers to my own questions. And then one day, I ran into the sightless pauper who acquainted me with what I really was and what had been rendered completely latent to my vision. I didn’t believe his words at once but I couldn’t help believe that I was not what I believed I was. It took me twelve years to know and to believe and to convince myself that I didn’t belong there and there was some place elsewhere that required my presence.
This is a work of fiction. It could well have been the prologue of a novel describing the extents to which a child has to go to, to find out his identity. “Avary” is the name of an imaginary island which forms the backdrop of the protagonist’s story.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Life on paper is easier
This is one of the facts that all of us are pretty much aware of, though no one speaks about it. I guessed it was time someone acknowledged it. All this time we keep reading about doing things, convincing ourselves that if we stick to the proposed algorithm religiously, we’ll achieve the task all by ourselves. Such a myth is never really challenged as long as we don’t get the chance to test the algorithm practically.
Indeed, we rarely get the opportunity to test the taught doctrines “practically”. When we do, we fail and it is then that we realise that something was wrong somewhere. The thing is, we are quite gullible. We easily believe what we are made to believe.
Why is it so? Is it that we were born like this? No. It’s just that we were brought up in a way that causes us to fall flat before the eloquence of those who instruct us. Its nature vs. nurture and nurture wins here, hands down. In an engineer’s terms, our hardware is sound, it is the software installed that is obsolete and bugged.
Humans have a way of choosing the EASY WAY OUT. We believe in theories proposed by others without ever questioning their authenticity because we don’t want to tire our brains by thinking. We don’t like pushing our faculties of imagination. And besides, those who use their imagination find themselves alone, and against a cult of those who take the “easy way out”. And in the altercation between ideas, it is the infant that always perishes, for its adversary has been spreading its roots in the minds of its preys like a parasite for many centuries. In the battle of experience and age, the former always crushes the latter.
I’ll relate a few futile attempts of mine and others to achieve things they said were achievable through adherence to some protocol.
Salt Analysis- Classes XIth and XIIth
All science students who have studied in the mentioned period must be aware of the procedure of identifying the radicals present in a chemical compound. The procedure was a standard one and could be found in all chemistry books. But only 5% of the students could actually achieve the task at hand, though many knew how to proceed. The reason: theoretical knowledge alone was insufficient. There were many practical considerations that had bearing upon the method.
Expansion work in a physical process
Almost all chemistry teachers who prove that expansion work W=PêV start with the definition of work that physics gave us, W= F. S. They say, in the case of gases, it is the Atmospheric pressure that forces the gas to stay confined in a particular volume, and it is this force that is to be overcome which causes pressure P to come into the equation. And they conclude that this formula can even be used to find the work when some solid melts, say ice. I believed that this inference could not be drawn. Solids are not gases. They have a fixed volume. They don’t occupy the entire volume of the container they are in. It is not the force exerted by the external pressure but their intermolecular forces that hold their molecules together. So it is the intermolecular forces that need to be overcome and therefore external pressure must not come into the equation. We need another equation in this case.
I tried explaining this to several teachers but all they said was I was not qualified to question such widely acclaimed statements. And to pass the exams I had to give in.
Deccan Chargers- the best IPL team on paper
Cricket Cognoscenti had claimed that T-20 was a format wherein hitting only mattered. They added it was a batsmen’s game and teams having great hitters who could survive 20 overs would win the tournament hands down. Deccan Chargers, with its batting virtuosos, namely Gilchrist, Gibbs, Afridi and Symonds was hailed as the winner long before the tournament actually started. But we all saw what happened.
There are more examples to share but I am tired of typing. I am virtually writing this on paper and it seems easy. But I swear it is a lot tougher to live your life following the things I say.
I have a last question to ask myself. Do I live my life on paper? And I have an answer. No Sir I don’t. And I have a logical deduction. To live life out there we need to think, and find out rather than assume. FIND OUT, DON’T ASSUME. At least I can say so on paper.
Indeed, we rarely get the opportunity to test the taught doctrines “practically”. When we do, we fail and it is then that we realise that something was wrong somewhere. The thing is, we are quite gullible. We easily believe what we are made to believe.
Why is it so? Is it that we were born like this? No. It’s just that we were brought up in a way that causes us to fall flat before the eloquence of those who instruct us. Its nature vs. nurture and nurture wins here, hands down. In an engineer’s terms, our hardware is sound, it is the software installed that is obsolete and bugged.
Humans have a way of choosing the EASY WAY OUT. We believe in theories proposed by others without ever questioning their authenticity because we don’t want to tire our brains by thinking. We don’t like pushing our faculties of imagination. And besides, those who use their imagination find themselves alone, and against a cult of those who take the “easy way out”. And in the altercation between ideas, it is the infant that always perishes, for its adversary has been spreading its roots in the minds of its preys like a parasite for many centuries. In the battle of experience and age, the former always crushes the latter.
I’ll relate a few futile attempts of mine and others to achieve things they said were achievable through adherence to some protocol.
Salt Analysis- Classes XIth and XIIth
All science students who have studied in the mentioned period must be aware of the procedure of identifying the radicals present in a chemical compound. The procedure was a standard one and could be found in all chemistry books. But only 5% of the students could actually achieve the task at hand, though many knew how to proceed. The reason: theoretical knowledge alone was insufficient. There were many practical considerations that had bearing upon the method.
Expansion work in a physical process
Almost all chemistry teachers who prove that expansion work W=PêV start with the definition of work that physics gave us, W= F. S. They say, in the case of gases, it is the Atmospheric pressure that forces the gas to stay confined in a particular volume, and it is this force that is to be overcome which causes pressure P to come into the equation. And they conclude that this formula can even be used to find the work when some solid melts, say ice. I believed that this inference could not be drawn. Solids are not gases. They have a fixed volume. They don’t occupy the entire volume of the container they are in. It is not the force exerted by the external pressure but their intermolecular forces that hold their molecules together. So it is the intermolecular forces that need to be overcome and therefore external pressure must not come into the equation. We need another equation in this case.
I tried explaining this to several teachers but all they said was I was not qualified to question such widely acclaimed statements. And to pass the exams I had to give in.
Deccan Chargers- the best IPL team on paper
Cricket Cognoscenti had claimed that T-20 was a format wherein hitting only mattered. They added it was a batsmen’s game and teams having great hitters who could survive 20 overs would win the tournament hands down. Deccan Chargers, with its batting virtuosos, namely Gilchrist, Gibbs, Afridi and Symonds was hailed as the winner long before the tournament actually started. But we all saw what happened.
There are more examples to share but I am tired of typing. I am virtually writing this on paper and it seems easy. But I swear it is a lot tougher to live your life following the things I say.
I have a last question to ask myself. Do I live my life on paper? And I have an answer. No Sir I don’t. And I have a logical deduction. To live life out there we need to think, and find out rather than assume. FIND OUT, DON’T ASSUME. At least I can say so on paper.
Friday, August 1, 2008
A Short Conversation
“Why do you write when no one reads?”
Annoyed at seeing me involved with my notebook all day long, she asked me.
“Go ahead and read it”, I pushed the notebook towards her.
She was caught off guard. I knew it. “I don’t have the time”, she said hesitatingly.
“Sure, I do have time. So that’s why I write. Don’t force me into a state wherein I don’t have it either.”
“Got it.”
The message had hit home.
Annoyed at seeing me involved with my notebook all day long, she asked me.
“Go ahead and read it”, I pushed the notebook towards her.
She was caught off guard. I knew it. “I don’t have the time”, she said hesitatingly.
“Sure, I do have time. So that’s why I write. Don’t force me into a state wherein I don’t have it either.”
“Got it.”
The message had hit home.
Another Conversation
Recently I was travelling from Katni to Allahabad on a train called Kamayani Express. It had left from Katni at 1100 hrs (its scheduled time of departure being an hour ago) and was to reach Allahabad at 1530 hrs. So there was time to be spent in the train. Time! If there’s anything I hate more than anything else, it is delay. Why don’t any of the goddamned events happen when they are supposed to happen? The one hour long solitary wait (on the platform) had really pissed me off and the guy standing next to me had made my condition worse by getting on my nerves with his unhealthy habit of smoking cigarettes one after the other. I guessed it was his last day on this planet and he wanted to finish his packet before dying. I was just about to reduce the delay of his demise from Earth when - thankfully - the blasted train arrived.
I got into the train. I had a berth reserved in the 3 A/C compartment which happened to be an upper berth. The train was coming from Jabalpur and all the lower seats were already occupied by sleeping travellers. Who in the hell sleeps at 11 am?
That was a rhetorical question and besides it was not my concern. They had paid for their berths and had the liberty to use them in whatever manner they considered fit. But I didn’t want to sleep. However, the hibernating corpses on the lower berths spared no other option for me. Nevertheless, I made sure I got place to sit on a vacant side lower berth after chaining my suitcase in an appropriate place. I don’t like carrying food while travelling and so I ordered a vegetarian special lunch pack. I kept myself busy with Irving Wallace’s The Man. In a couple of hours the train reached Satna and the food was served. Around me people were waking up from their state of slumber. The elderly couple that occupied the lower berths in my compartment had also come alive and were sitting, so I moved there and sat next to the uncle. It allowed me to keep an eye on my luggage. As I sat there and ate, auntie got fascinated by the delicacies constituting my lunch. With Shahi Paneer, Mixed Vegetable, Lachha Parantha, Veg Pulao, Curd and a Sweet in my plate I was easily the centre of attraction (though that came at a price: 75 bucks). Soon we started talking. They learnt a little about me and I ,in turn, about them. They were coming from Trichy after having their son Pratyush admitted into NIT Trichy. However they looked quite worried (a common occurrence with Indian parents) for their son’s cell phone was apparently being picked by a girl who didn’t understand Hindi (must’ve been a South Indian) and they were not good in English either. Literally, uncle’s knowledge of English was limited to “I am S.P. Singh”. So they asked me to save their day.
What could I say? Opportunity knocks but once. Dil pe patthar rakh ke (silencing my heart’s voice) I yielded to their request. Apparently the girl was annoyed after having spoken to “I am S.P. Singh” umpteen times. The following is the conversation that transpired between us.
Me: Hello
She: Who’s this?
Me: Hi this is Robin. Could I speak to Pratyush?
She: No. Wrong number.
Me: Don’t hang up.
She: Haven’t I told you so many times already that I don’t know any Pratyush.
Me: Did I call you before?
She: Somebody else called like a twenty times from your number.
Me: Sorry about that. If you help me this’d be my last call.
She: What do you want?
Me: I want you to talk to me.
( A silence of a few seconds )
She: What?
Me: I mean, there’s some confusion. Help me clear it.
She: Okay. I too am fed up of this confusion.
Me: So, 9003xxxxx98. Is this your number?
She: Yes.
Me: Without a doubt?
She: Without a doubt.
Me: Could I know your name.
She: Why?
Me: Fine. So, Miss whatever-your-name-is, apparently this is also the no. of my buddy Pratyush who has just joined NIT Trichy.
She: I’ve already told you this is my number.
Me: Did I deny that? I’ll tell you what, you have no patience. You are merely interested in hanging up. You have no idea how worried Pratyush’s parents are. You are just concerned with your convenience. You seem like someone hostile to the normal standards of social behaviour. Imagine if you don’t get to talk to your parents, how’d you feel? Try to place yourself in the difficult position others are…. in
Go on. Hang up if you wish.
She: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to mistreat you. Actually I’m also a new student at NIT Trichy. The place is new and I’m also missing my parents. Maybe the emotional strain is getting the better of me. That’s why I got annoyed.
Me: Yeah I know. I’ve been through that phase already.
She: Are you a new student too?
Me: No, but I was last year. I am in the second year now.
She: That’s nice. I could use some advice.
(Uncle and Auntie were giving me what-do-you-suppose-you’re-doing glances. Besides uncle’s eyes were also suggesting that his was a prepaid connection.)
Me: Yeah. Could you do me a favour? It is obvious that Pratyush is your batchmate. Look for him and if you find him, kindly ask him to contact his parents.
She: Yeah I’ll be pleased to do it.
Me: Thanks. I’ll hang up now.
She: Bbye.
Me: Bye.
That was it. I told uncle and auntie the extract of our conversation. They thanked me for the help. In my mind, I thanked them too.
An hour later, Pratyush did call his parents. And you know what, his no. was 9003xxxx89. That suggested uncle had interchanged the last two digits. Auntie was annoyed at this error but somebody else wasn’t.
I got into the train. I had a berth reserved in the 3 A/C compartment which happened to be an upper berth. The train was coming from Jabalpur and all the lower seats were already occupied by sleeping travellers. Who in the hell sleeps at 11 am?
That was a rhetorical question and besides it was not my concern. They had paid for their berths and had the liberty to use them in whatever manner they considered fit. But I didn’t want to sleep. However, the hibernating corpses on the lower berths spared no other option for me. Nevertheless, I made sure I got place to sit on a vacant side lower berth after chaining my suitcase in an appropriate place. I don’t like carrying food while travelling and so I ordered a vegetarian special lunch pack. I kept myself busy with Irving Wallace’s The Man. In a couple of hours the train reached Satna and the food was served. Around me people were waking up from their state of slumber. The elderly couple that occupied the lower berths in my compartment had also come alive and were sitting, so I moved there and sat next to the uncle. It allowed me to keep an eye on my luggage. As I sat there and ate, auntie got fascinated by the delicacies constituting my lunch. With Shahi Paneer, Mixed Vegetable, Lachha Parantha, Veg Pulao, Curd and a Sweet in my plate I was easily the centre of attraction (though that came at a price: 75 bucks). Soon we started talking. They learnt a little about me and I ,in turn, about them. They were coming from Trichy after having their son Pratyush admitted into NIT Trichy. However they looked quite worried (a common occurrence with Indian parents) for their son’s cell phone was apparently being picked by a girl who didn’t understand Hindi (must’ve been a South Indian) and they were not good in English either. Literally, uncle’s knowledge of English was limited to “I am S.P. Singh”. So they asked me to save their day.
What could I say? Opportunity knocks but once. Dil pe patthar rakh ke (silencing my heart’s voice) I yielded to their request. Apparently the girl was annoyed after having spoken to “I am S.P. Singh” umpteen times. The following is the conversation that transpired between us.
Me: Hello
She: Who’s this?
Me: Hi this is Robin. Could I speak to Pratyush?
She: No. Wrong number.
Me: Don’t hang up.
She: Haven’t I told you so many times already that I don’t know any Pratyush.
Me: Did I call you before?
She: Somebody else called like a twenty times from your number.
Me: Sorry about that. If you help me this’d be my last call.
She: What do you want?
Me: I want you to talk to me.
( A silence of a few seconds )
She: What?
Me: I mean, there’s some confusion. Help me clear it.
She: Okay. I too am fed up of this confusion.
Me: So, 9003xxxxx98. Is this your number?
She: Yes.
Me: Without a doubt?
She: Without a doubt.
Me: Could I know your name.
She: Why?
Me: Fine. So, Miss whatever-your-name-is, apparently this is also the no. of my buddy Pratyush who has just joined NIT Trichy.
She: I’ve already told you this is my number.
Me: Did I deny that? I’ll tell you what, you have no patience. You are merely interested in hanging up. You have no idea how worried Pratyush’s parents are. You are just concerned with your convenience. You seem like someone hostile to the normal standards of social behaviour. Imagine if you don’t get to talk to your parents, how’d you feel? Try to place yourself in the difficult position others are…. in
Go on. Hang up if you wish.
She: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to mistreat you. Actually I’m also a new student at NIT Trichy. The place is new and I’m also missing my parents. Maybe the emotional strain is getting the better of me. That’s why I got annoyed.
Me: Yeah I know. I’ve been through that phase already.
She: Are you a new student too?
Me: No, but I was last year. I am in the second year now.
She: That’s nice. I could use some advice.
(Uncle and Auntie were giving me what-do-you-suppose-you’re-doing glances. Besides uncle’s eyes were also suggesting that his was a prepaid connection.)
Me: Yeah. Could you do me a favour? It is obvious that Pratyush is your batchmate. Look for him and if you find him, kindly ask him to contact his parents.
She: Yeah I’ll be pleased to do it.
Me: Thanks. I’ll hang up now.
She: Bbye.
Me: Bye.
That was it. I told uncle and auntie the extract of our conversation. They thanked me for the help. In my mind, I thanked them too.
An hour later, Pratyush did call his parents. And you know what, his no. was 9003xxxx89. That suggested uncle had interchanged the last two digits. Auntie was annoyed at this error but somebody else wasn’t.
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