A leaf from the book of the Past

Memory is one of the most wonderful things available to any entity. The finite state machines are inferior to the push down automaton only because they lack memory. Computer Memory is either fast and expensive or cheap and slow but in either case the data in the memory follows Newton’s law of inertia, except in the case of a hardware failure of course. Computer memory is simple to understand. Human memory on the contrary is a thing beyond human comprehension. Sometimes we remember something- sometimes we do not. It is there in the memory- somewhere there but where exactly, we are not aware. Probably the search algorithm the brain uses is not exhaustive, for if it is, human memory can be shown to be very unreliable. And let’s not talk about the hardware failure issues in the case of human memory. One thing quite noteworthy about human memory is that it can house vast amounts of data - though most of what it chooses to store by its own accord is irrelevant. And when the human brain sits idle, it does not merely sit idle; it invokes its search programs with random search keys and the results are random thoughts and reflections of the past. Without further digression from my motive, I relate one incident from my past experiences which the search in my idle brain just brought to my notice.

I was traveling from Delhi to Allahabad in the winter of 2006. The train I was on traveling on -Prayagraj Express- was and is still the best train that ever marched that route. I was alone and I had a lower berth reserved against my name. That most of the women from Delhi are firebrands is not a big secret. And I was an informed youth. So I was (I’ve always been) mentally prepared to let any lady have her way and leave me unscathed. So when the woman with her young sister in law asked me to move to berth number eight (an uncomfortable side upper) I flinched immediately and displaying an unwavering determination towards service to females I complied, but only after both of them agreed to keep an eye each on my attaché that I had already chained under one of the lower berths in that compartment.
Well, berth number 8 has a special place in a train’s A/C coach. It is the berth directly above the one allotted to the TTE (traveling ticket examiner). And Indian TTEs are pretty decent when it comes to handing over their seats to members of the opposite sex. Evidently our TTE- a grey haired, obese, jolly faced guy in his fifties- was no exception to the rule for I saw three members of the afore mentioned community adorning seat number seven. It was not even ten in the night and I was reading some work of Mario Puzo, so sleep wasn’t exactly the first thing on my mind. Some other day I would have shared the lower seat with its occupant to sit for some time and let my ears get used to the rattle-rumble of the moving wagon before diving into the book, but that day was different. Seat number seven would have proved an electric chair for a young man like me and I didn’t want to perish. So I was determined to reach for my berth and resume the book reading exercise. However it was not meant to be so. As I was climbing up the bunk bed ladder I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned and found a pair of eyes staring into mine. The eyes belonged to one of the occupants of the side lower.
“Do you mind exchanging berths with me?” these words flew off the oral cavity that was a couple of inches below the eyes. I took a deep breath and examined the object under consideration from top to bottom. The next moment I was embarrassed to find out that the object’s companions had noticed me doing the scrutiny and I came to senses instantly. “..Only for an hour. I have to read my Namaz. It is the month of Eid you see”, she continued. Damn she was fuming! What was I to do? It was another form of nature’s call, for attending to the call was indispensable in this case as well. How could a guy with a heart ever turn down such a request? I remembered the words of Don Vito Corleone, “I’ll give him an offer he cannot resist” and noted the apparent similarity. You must understand that questions such as the one she had asked have only a rhetorical value, for the answer is implied from the context. I knew I had to go, so why not make some small talk out of the transaction. I said, “Well FYI I have already been traveling to and from different berths like a common man in a government office. As fed up of this business as I am, I would’ve refused to someone else; nevertheless I will make an exception for you. I will move if you promise to keep your word and let me have my berth as soon as you’re done.” She replied with “Thanks. I really appreciate your cooperation.” Playing hard to get, I made no further attempt to carry further the conversation (I had to appear like some sober guy who minded his own business) and asked, “So where do I go?” “Seat number ten, right there” she pointed and her white fingers with decorated finger nails caught my attention. I turned again to make eye contact with her friends and they nodded gently to assure me that they were not regular interlopers and that my seat would definitely be restored. I gave them a business-like smile and jumped up seat no. ten- a middle berth in the adjacent array of berths.

Unfortunately the people who were destined to be my neighbors in my newest acquired berth were all trying to sleep and had shut off the lights. So involuntarily I had to lie on the bunk and face the aisle, to catch as much light from the aisle as possible to read. From my position I could keep an eye on my seat and the one beneath it and they could see me. The girl who occupied my berth was kneeling and praying. That was quite a sight. I’ve always believed that beauty is meant to be admired and sometimes I get so engrossed in the activity that I lose track of my coordinates. It was one of those times and I let the book escape my grasp and following the laws of gravity in a moving frame, it struck the floor. It broke my sleep and I heard her companions giggling. Apparently they had become aware of my state of mind. If they thought they could embarrass me, I was past that stage already. One of them reached down to pick the volume and momentarily my heart skipped another beat. She picked it up and turned it around to read the gist. I waited patiently, and wondered if I were to produce some password to reclaim my ownership. She looked into my eyes and commented -most probably on the contents of the novel- “Interesting”. Sometimes it is hard to decipher what girls mean when they use four-syllable words in place of sentences. And I bet it was one of those times. I knew for sure that the two of them did not have confirmed tickets -that was why they were on seat number seven in the first place. And I also knew that they knew that I had a berth against my name; add to this my knowledge of Delhi gals being firebrands and put yourself in my shoes (though you would’ve loved to be in my berth right then). I started to doubt her intentions but as careless as I was, I was always good at following algorithms and one algorithm that my mom taught me for traveling safe was to beware of strangers and strange women. I did not want to lose my berth, for I had seen men lose their homes due to similar causes. I responded with a curt, “Can I have it back.” (Today I totally regret that line. It could just have been a casual session of harmless flirting.)

I buried my nose into the book again and waited for the time. In the meanwhile the TTE came and allotted the two gals on his seat a berth. He asked them to share it for no more travelers were absent. Their seat was nine berths away from my current position, and this ruled out the possibility of further small talk. I silently observed their transition. Sometime later, the pious soul completed her prayers and descended from my berth. I saw her walking towards the toilet. Open doors tempt a saint (don’t get any ideas. Read on). With the first opportunity I jumped from my temporary position to my semi-temporary position, i.e. back to seat number eight. I engaged myself in endeavoring to stop all thoughts.

She came back in a jiffy. She was surprised and probably pissed off at my nonchalance in regaining my position without formally notifying her. I wasn't a state attorney after all, I had no knowledge of laws of transfer of property and stuff. She looked at me with the eyes of a wounded tigress. I avoided eye contact. She suddenly realized her companions were not where she had last seen them. She looked here and there but they were not anywhere in sight. So from her stack of questions, she popped one: “Where are my friends?” I had expected this. With a devilish smile I popped mine, “Are you sure I'm supposed to know?” She was caught off-guard and struck speechless. She kept staring at me; her eyes no longer had the fire of a tigress' but the timidity of a pet cat's. My heart melted and I surrendered the national secret without the least hesitation, “berth number nineteen.” She smiled and I reciprocated the gesture with a sheepish grin.

I turned my attention to the work of literature in my lap. Five minutes later I saw her climbing onto her berth. Fortunately she placed her head away from the aisle so I could finally concentrate. Another five minutes later I felt someone tap my shoulder. It was her. Another question was fired at me, “Did you use the pillow?” “I do not remember”, were the words that escaped my mouth. She stared into my eyes again, searching for an answer. Being a non smoker, I was not used to a lot of smoke around; I could not think. It was like my thinking faculties had taken sleeping pills and quit. Finally I gathered all my remaining strength and announced, “What should we do? Choose any one.”, I said handing her my pillow. She looked at both of them. The ball was in her court (no pun intended). Finally she took one ( I believed randomly) and left with a curt, “Carry on.” I had no words.

I read till late and slept. I woke up at about eight and went to the basin to brush my teeth and wash my face. When I was back, she was in my berth again, doing her prayers. Her friends were sitting on the TTE's seat and they smiled at me. How the frog was I supposed to react? I chose to smile and sat on the lower in the front. One of them said, “ We've put you to a lot of trouble” and smiled again. I had to say, “Yes I am aware of that. I am paying the price of trying to act like a gentleman”, I smiled back. The other one added, “so you're only acting like a gentleman? You're pretending?” I said, “I'll let you be a judge of that.” They started giggling. Even the religious lady on the side upper started chuckling. “So you too are pretending to pray?”, I blurted. This made them laugh even harder and one of them nearly choked. Meanwhile the TTE emerged and he joined me on the opposite side lower. He asked me, “Do you have any exam? You were reading.” I said, “Not really uncle, but my fellow travelers are examining my character, so I suppose...” He didn't seem to understand but those who were supposed to did. That brought forth another roll of laughter. Soon the other people in that compartment had risen so naturally there was a scarcity of space. It is a simple law of physics, the combined size of the contents of a container is to be no more than the size of the container itself. I chose to move to the next compartment and capture my perpetrator's berth.

Fortunately the people in that compartment had also risen and we removed the middle berth on which she had slept. I didn't notice that her “chunni / dupatta” was still on her berth. So when we removed the berth it came to rest on the lower berth and unluckily and inadvertently I sat on it. Sometime later I felt a shiver down my rear. I stood up with a start. She was pulling her “dupatta” from underneath me. I was embarrassed and avoided any eye contact. They did not disturb me thereafter. I had the option of returning to my seat but somehow I could not muster the courage to face them after the latest encounter. From my position, I could not hear much of what they were talking about but certainly I heard “where's that guy” and “you'll find a few of such guys everywhere” and this further motivated me to stick to a place where I did not need to interact with them. Soon the journey ended and I had gained nothing but lesser free space on my brain's hard disk.